of my old life and the old me
and poor, no...really BAD choices that almost killed me
negative self esteem and body image
i awoke at 4:30 a.m. in a sweat and a fret
up and out of bed, on the porch with my unconditional loving pooch
email, coffee and CNN in the dark, earling morning
then fell asleep on the couch
and dreamt of CNN's discussion of Islam and the talks re: the 9/11 mosque and the koran burning douchebag.
i was on the news lamenting my frustration and disappointment
so muchbetter now,
but amazed how my former self continues to haunt me
annoyed that i have to think about it
and still have to debate myself, so often, to make good choices
and i am missing my mom
- even after 18 years -
i still really fucking miss her sometimes.
but its all okay.
these days are fewer and farther in between
and i have grown so much
i can now acknowledge them.
FEEL the feelings.
KNOW that i am stronger. and better. and happier.
and this too shall pass.
...and this too shall pass...
<3
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